


The First Night After, Astrid Can't Sleep

by VanScritto



Series: The First Night After [2]
Category: The Tomorrow People (2013)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-07
Updated: 2014-01-07
Packaged: 2018-01-07 22:25:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1125116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VanScritto/pseuds/VanScritto
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>5 (+1) times Astrid can't sleep because of something that happened with John.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The First Night After, Astrid Can't Sleep

The first night after she meets John, Astrid can't sleep.  
  
Stephen said he was going away for a little while. And that she couldn't come. She, Stephen's best friend, was not invited on this secret trip. It upsets her, even though she finds it hard to admit. Ever since he's met them, Stephen's been slipping away. He doesn't tell her everything anymore, like he used to. For example, the fact that he might not return from this trip he's planning anytime soon. If ever.  
Astrid doesn't need telepathy to read Stephen's face.  
  
She tries to distract herself as she's lying in her bed. The alarm clock on her night stand glares at her angrily. She has a test in the morning, she should be sleeping. But her mind is full of Stephen and his incredibly beautiful new crush, Cara, and her incredibly handsome boyfriend, John, and their incredibly inappropriate yet funny tag-along, Russell. They were all so nice and friendly, Stephen's mother probably loved them all immediately. Astrid already kind of hates them. Even though she doesn't. She groans in frustration and tosses the covers off to get a glass of water.  
  
She turns on the TV in the downstairs living room and tugs herself on the couch with a container of Ben & Jerry's. There are just too many thoughts in her head to be able to sleep now. She zaps through the channels and finds a re-run of some romantic comedy she can snuggle up to. But then the male lead looks an awful lot like John with the sandy-blonde hair and the charming smile and she switches channels again.  
  
She can't hate them, she thinks. They saved Stephen's sanity. They might have saved Stephen's life, too, what with all the secret things they do together and the blood on Stephen's shirt the night of Homecoming. She just wishes he weren't keeping all of that to himself. She wishes he wouldn't exclude her from everything important in his life now.  
  
She wishes he'd never met them. Not Cara with her perfect hair, not Russell with his funny jokes and especially not John and his stupid smile.  
  
***  
  
The first night after she finds out John rescued her, Astrid can't sleep.  
  
She gingerly touches the bruise on her face and winces. She's touched the bruise about twenty times in the past few hours, the stinging pain a reminder of what happened to her, as if she doesn't quite believe it really happened. She doesn't remember much from the abduction or the rescue, just bits and pieces. Stephen hasn't been very helpful in clearing everything up. He likes to keep her in the dark, apparently, even though this abduction should be proof enough that it's time he told her what's going on. But he still seems to think that she's safer if she doesn't know.  
  
John saved her. That's about as much as she's gotten out of Stephen so far. She was abducted as blackmail material because she's Stephen's friend and John saved her. It throws her off, because ever since that dinner night, she'd decided to focus her anger at the Tomorrow People on him. After all, Stephen was head over heels for Cara, so Astrid was obligated by the friend code not to hate her and Russell was just too funny to be hated. But John kept his distance enough that she could let her anger fester in silence. But now he's saved her, and she can't be angry at him anymore.  
He didn't really deserve it anyhow.  
  
There's a knock on her door.  
"Come in," she calls.  
It's Stephen and the paper bag in his hand tells her he's been to her favorite bakery today. He's stayed with her every night ever since they had gotten her back.  
"I got you something," he says and sits down on the foot of her bed. "How are you?"  
"Frustrated with this maths problem."  
"Give it a rest. It's late and I'm sure you'd get away with not having the homework tomorrow," he says with a grin and starts unpacking the baked goods. He got her favorite: a vanilla cupcake with raspberry filling and lemon-cream topping. There's a sugar flower on top of it she's sure he had them add just for her.  
"I'm already excused from PE, I don't really want to make such a big deal out of it."  
In school, she's told everyone that she slipped and fell into a wall while jogging. It amazes her how easily everyone believes her. And it bothers her how big of a joke she seems to be now.  
"By next week, everyone will have forgotten about it." He shuts the book for her and she gasps in mock surprise. "Eat your cupcake, woman, and then let's go to sleep."  
  
She lies awake in her bed in the dark, listening to Stephen's even breaths from where he's lying sprawled out on the floor. It stops every time she moves and the bed creaks, as if he's instinctively checking the surroundings for danger.  
He never used to do that. He used to snore, mouth open on his back with his head by the foot of the bed, one arm curled around her legs. Back when they were, like, ten and could actually fit into this bed together.  
She closes her eyes only to have images of the previous days flash through her mind. There's one in particular that stands out: John, his hand on her forehead and a sad smile on his face. When she opens her eyes, it's like she can still feel the pressure on her skin.  
  
***  
  
The first night after she sees John kill someone, Astrid can't sleep.  
  
She's curled up on the couch in a corner of the main area of the lair, three blankets around her. Still, she's shivering.  
The lair around her is quiet, or at least as quiet as it'll ever be. There's the pipes and the trains and the air vents from the nearby station. The place is full of white noise that Astrid isn't used to. Her parents' house is always silent, not even a clock ticking. John had promised to take her home the next morning when it's a bit safer.  
  
John. John had promised. She laughs a bit at herself for that thought. Actually, he hadn't promised anything. He'd said, "It's safer if you stay here tonight." But Astrid kind of thinks it means he'll take her home tomorrow. Somebody has to, she can't teleport herself out.  
  
She shivers again, involuntarily, and rubs her hands over her arms. There's still that phantom feeling of someone grabbing her, digging his fingers into her skin, sure to leave marks. There's a draft of air, she thinks, right beneath her ear like someone's breath and it makes the hair on her neck stand up.  
  
She shivers again, then jumps up suddenly, getting caught in all the blankets around her, falling to the floor. She fights with the blankets, then finally manages to fight them off and scrambles backwards to her feet.  
She's alone. Nobody's hands grab her, nobody breathes against her ear. Still, she feels the tears threatening to come and bites them back. She needs to take a walk.  
  
It surprises her how much it doesn't surprise her that she ends up at John's room. Normally, she'd probably head to Stephen. But Stephen isn't here. He's away on a trip with Cara and Russell, doing whatever-he-won't-tell-her. Normally, this would frustrate her. But she's too exhausted to be frustrated.  
  
She hesitates a moment before knocking on John's door. She doesn't wait for him to call her in. He's telepathic, he probably already knew she was coming as soon as the thought had formed in her head.  
Still, he looks surprised when she walks in. And exhausted. And… apologetic?  
"I can't sleep," she says, because she doesn't have a better explanation. I feel safer with you around, she thinks, then immediately discards the thought. Stephen's been teaching her how to mask her thoughts from telepathic agents by thinking of silly, mundane things. His examples were laundry or shopping lists. But she finds her mind wandering too much when she tries that, so she tries solve her maths homework problems in her head instead. She's getting good at it, too.  
  
She sits down on the edge of his bed and there's a draft of air again. She shivers.  
"I still feel his hands on my arms," she blurts out, because if she doesn't, she'll cry. Suddenly, there are real hands on her arms, John's hands, rubbing gently up and down, trying to chase the memory away. It doesn't quite work, but it still feels good.  
"He's not here anymore, I promise," he says.  
"I know. Thanks to you." She remembers the noise, the crack of bones breaking. "I thought your kind couldn't kill."  
"I'm different."  
"Special?" She's trying to make a joke, but it doesn't come out as such. Even to her own ears, she sounds like she's romanticizing what he did. There's nothing special about killing.  
"No." And then, as if he's read her thoughts, he says, "there's nothing special about being able to kill. There's nothing special about killing."  
"Hm." The sincerity in his voice almost makes her cry. She remembers the look on his face, shocked and angry. She remembers how he briefly looked at his hands, as if he himself were surprised at what he'd done. The same hands that had killed a man — granted, a man that had been chasing and grabbing her — now make her feel safer.  
She's absolutely romanticizing this, she thinks. But right now, she's exhausted.  
"Can I stay here? There's a pipe in the wall near my bed that's leaking. The dripping sound is driving me nuts." She rushes out the words before she lets herself drop on the mattress. The faster she's horizontal, the lesser are the chances he'll say no. She thinks she can hear an affirmation, though.  
He seems to struggle with finding a good sleeping position, because there really is only one good sleeping position for two people in a twin bed. She catches his arm and pulls it around her. Finally, his struggle ends.  
  
It occurs to her as she's lying there with Johns arms around her and his breath against her hair that this is so much warmer than the three blankets on the couch. And much safer, too.  
"I'm sorry," he whispers suddenly into the dark.  
"Sorry you saved my life?" She asks, already half drifting off.  
"Sorry you had to see that."  
"I'm sorry you had to do that."  
Because she knows the think he wouldn't admit out loud. That he didn't just kill a man back there. He also killed a small part of himself.  
  
***  
  
The first night after John rejects her, Astrid can't sleep.  
  
Everything had been going so well. They'd been flirting, hadn't they? He'd been touching her more than others, shooting her a quick whenever she caught his eye. They were beginning to have inside jokes, for God's sakes! Even Stephen had made his comments about it. Although he probably picked up her feelings from her thoughts whenever she was practicing to shield her mind. Even though she is getting really good at it —Just yesterday, she'd been masking her thoughts behind visualizations of college applications, entry forms, cover letters all day!— Stephen still sometimes manages to sneak through her barriers when he tries. Or maybe she just can't mask her thoughts about John very well.  
  
Still, as well as everything had seemingly gone so far, when she'd asked John to grab lunch with her today, he'd declined with a quick smile and told her to get onto those applications.  
"Not that I doubt they'll take you," he'd said. "Michigan would be stupid not to with your grades."  
"Michigan?" She hadn't really considered Michigan to be a valid choice. Too far away, for one.  
"Yes, Michigan. The weather is fantastic there. Pretty much no chance for hurricanes." She was about to say that a hurricane really couldn't scare her much anymore, when he'd added: "Also, pretty much no chance for getting caught up in Tomorrow People business."  
  
Tomorrow People business. His words.  
Because Tomorrow People business isn't her business. It is just stuff she gets 'caught up' in, accidentally, because she's Stephen's friend.  
While she was deluding herself into thinking that, while not being one of them exactly, she kind of belonged with them, John was just seeing excess baggage. He's probably marked the day he can see her off to college with red in his calendar. Finally, another problem off his hands.  
  
And he's right, she knows. She's vulnerable because of the lack of supernatural abilities. She's involved as Stephen's friend, she's targeted because of Stephen, she's used to get to Stephen. And John is the one who has to step up to save her all the time.  
Michigan really is a fantastic choice for her.  
  
Everything had been going so well. Until reality set in.  
  
***  
  
The first night after they move into John's old safe house, Astrid can't sleep.  
  
He probably hates this, she thinks. Couldn't get rid of that excess baggage after all.  
To be fair, he doesn't look or act like he hates it. In fact, he seems rather excited about the whole idea to take her away and go into hiding. Stephen probably blackmailed him, though.  
  
She's sorting the few things she was able to take from her home into the bedroom closet of their new home. It's one of John's old safe houses in Ohio. Not quite Michigan, which is ironic, but far enough away from New York City nonetheless. It seems to be in good shape, despite nobody having lived here for the past couple of years. There's furniture, linens, dishes and everything is as clean as can be expected. Everything, except the carpet, probably. With that muddy color, it could be hiding all kinds of nasty stains and she wouldn't know. Not that she thinks about this, or anything.  
  
John is in the living room, putting up his bed on the couch. That's the moment the truth sinks in: They will be here a while. If they weren't, John wouldn't need to make such a fuss about the sleeping arrangements. They slept on a twin bed together before. If it were just a couple of nights, they could make due with the king in the bedroom. She would prefer that, but that's not something she says out loud.  
  
Her mind is buzzing, trying to comprehend everything, when suddenly she realizes they need a story. If they're going to stay a while, they need a story. She grabs the notebook she's been scribbling on and walks out to John's couch.  
"John?"  
"Mhm?"  
"I know you've lived in the sewers for the last couple of years, but now that we're hiding in plain sight we should probably think of a cover story." She turns on the lamp on the couch table, but doesn't do much good. It's probably a good thing, though, because he looks really good with ruffled hair and she's blushing. In the half-dark, at least he won't be able to tell.  
"A cover story?" He asks. She moves to sit on the couch and he finally scrambles into a half-sitting position.  
"You know, who we are and what we're doing." Does he not understand what a cover story is?  
"I've never needed a cover story," he says.  
"Well, you've never stayed in one place long enough to need one," she says. Makes sense. "And I'm sure the rats in the train tunnels didn't much care. But the lady from the other side of the streets two houses down will definitely care. She's watered her roses four times since we arrived." Her roses look pristine, too. Astrid is a teensy bit jealous. She has absolutely no talent in the plant raising department. She's so bad, she could probably kill a cactus while trying to take care of it. Would it be okay if she asked the lady for her secret?  
"Okay then. What's our cover story?" He puts his hand over hers on instinct and it takes her off her train of thought.  
"I was thinking newlyweds." Actually, she hadn't been thinking anything. But John's hand on hers gives her ideas. "We need new IDs anyway, so we can make me a bit older than eighteen," she presses on, when he doesn't say anything. "My mother still looks like she's twenty-five so I can probably pass for twenty-something-ish, right? We're fresh out of college and wanted to move into a nice neighborhood. You could probably fake a job in the city and I can take on a job as a receptionist or something. Anything where they won't be doing a big background check. Then again, we'll probably need money to live on, don't we? We should also change our names. Do you want to pick our last name?"  
John looks at her blankly.  
"Do I have to pick it out now?" He says then. "It's three in the morning."  
"And by eleven we'll have a lady with a casserole on our doorstep. We've got to have it figured out by then." She doesn't want to sound hysterical, but she does. A little.  
"How do you like Williams?"  
  
***  
  
The first night after she tells John she loves him, Astrid can't sleep.  
  
She's said it a hundred times before. They're pretending to be a married couple, so it's almost obligatory to say it. There's a rhythm, a system to it, now. She'll say it jokingly with a grin, usually in front of their neighbors or to tease him right before she goes out and buys those lamps she's gone on about for two days straight until he told her to just get the goddamn things. He'll say it back, also with a grin. And then he'll kiss her on the lips, which is her favorite part. Even though it's just a quick kiss, it's one millisecond that she'll pretend he actually means it.  
  
And now she knows that he does.  
  
She'd had one of her moments where something would remind her of her old life and she'd start tearing up. And he had just wrapped his arms around her and held her while she was saying something stupid about dishes that didn't make any sense.  
"I'm really glad you're here." She had realized too late that she'd said this out loud.  
"I'm really glad you're here, too. Things would be so boring without you."  
She'd seen something on his face when she pulled back that prompted her to say it. The magic words, in all sincerity. There was no joking, no teasing. He'd said something, too, though, so she's not quite sure he heard her.  
"I really do love you," she'd said then, relieved to finally get that off her chest. And suddenly he was kissing her. Or was she kissing him?  
  
It's late, they should be sleeping. They both have to get up early to go to work. But she can sleep an hour longer than him, so she thinks she has every right to keep drawing circles on his stomach for a little while longer.

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by their first meeting in the last episode. Everything after is obviously fictional.
> 
> John's point of view can be found [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1113533)


End file.
